


Too Much is Never Enough

by Strange and Intoxicating -rsa- (strangeandintoxicating)



Series: Eternal Road Trip [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: AS IN IF YOU DIDN'T FINISH DON'T CLICK HERE, I CAN NOT GET ANY MORE SPECIFIC THAN THAT I AM ALREADY BEING SUPER VAGUE, M/M, SPOILERS BIG DAMN SPOILERS, it should make you smile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 10:09:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8840509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangeandintoxicating/pseuds/Strange%20and%20Intoxicating%20-rsa-
Summary: An ending is just a new beginning.MASSIVE SPOILERSAnd the crown it weighs heavy'Till it's banging on my eyelidsRetreating in covers and closing the curtainsOne thing's for certain, ohA year like this passes so strangelySomewhere between sorrow and bliss-Too Much is Never Enough





	

**Author's Note:**

> Author Notes: Please go to this link for the Florence + the machine song that inspired this piece and play it on repeat as you read the story. This was how it was written, and this is how it should be read.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bD6sTDH9Zdc
> 
> Warnings: SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS BIG DAMN SPOILERS Mild sexual language, but nothing graphic. I feel confident in my T rating. If anyone has any issues with it, please send me a message.
> 
> Thank you flickerlight for looking over this for me!

 

 _And the crown it weighs heavy_  
_'Till it's banging on my eyelids_  
_Retreating in covers and closing the curtains_  
_One thing's for certain, oh_  
_A year like this passes so strangely_  
_Somewhere between sorrow and bliss_

 

* * *

They all understood the silence lingering upon the night air, the stagnant night that blocked out the dawn.

It had been ten years for Ignis, Prompto, and Gladio, but for Noctis...

He could still feel their hands, the same way it had been those long nights as they made their way to Altissia. Those days of fighting through fields upon fields of monsters, listening to their breath at night, tucked under the stars... The soft blue glow of the powerful runes that kept them safe from the daemons made each of their faces glow ethereally.

They looked like angels, sleeping peacefully. Gladio would have laughed at him had he said it and Prompto would have just stammered. Ignis would have... Ignis would have just smiled.

Noctis remembered their last night, before Altissia. There was no longer a wedding but all the same they knew that something would change there. Something would be stripped barren and laid upon an altar as sacrifice.

For the others it was ten years.

For Noctis it had been a hundred.

"I... I love you guys."

It was the truth, which was why it was so hard to say. He said it the night before Altissia, and now it felt the same.

Something was coming to an end, a curtain was falling. The actors had taken their bows, roses thrown to the stage.

This was their curtain call.

Ignis stood from his chair and made his way toward Noctis, reaching out to touch his cheek. Those warm gloves... so many times had Ignis cradled his cheek in his hand. He ran his thumb against Noctis's jaw and down to his lips, letting the leather pull his lip down, parting them. Ignis... Ignis. His Ignis. The man who had guided him through the darkness. Noctis only wished he could have been there more when Ignis was in his own unending abyss.

"Noct..."

Next was Gladio. Strong Gladio, his shield. His protector. His reminder of what he was meant to do, who he was meant to become. The one who thought for him when he couldn't. Gladio was more than a shield, he was a piece of Noctis, and always had been. Gladio, behind him, leaning down to nuzzle his beard against Noctis's neck.

Prompto stood and leaned down next to him, resting his hand on Noctis's, the one where the ring stood out starkly against his pale skin. It still pained him, greatly so, but with Prompto's warmth he could push back the feeling. Noctis's little ray of sunshine in the darkest of nights.

"How... how could you leave one another?" Noctis needed to know... How had the three broken apart. How were they supposed to go on after he was... he was...

"Oh, Noct. Don't blame yourself, it was not your fault."

But Noctis felt it _was_. How was it that the bonds they shared... it could not have just been him, it simply could not have been.

"We love each other, don't we?"

Gladio breathed in sharply next to his ear. "Noct, it wasn't like that..."

"Then why did Talcott tell me... You went off, on your own. You left each other..." It was something that had made his stomach churn when he was in the truck, staring down the never-ending miles of daemons. He knew his fate, he knew the promise he made to the world, to purge the Starscourge, and yet... how was he supposed to do what was needed to be done if they, the ones he loved, would break?

"How could... how could it _happen_?"

"Noct... It was hard." Prompto rested his knuckles against Noctis's hand, and the ring burned. "Without you... we could barely keep ourselves sane. We wanted to find you, save you... help you."

"Why couldn't you do it _together_?"

Ignis responded, "Because without you... we were lost. We were in the dark. You were our light and in its absence... we couldn't find each other."

"It hurt too much." Gladio's arms were around his shoulders, only the thin fabric of the camping chair between them. "Without you... we couldn't find our way."

Noctis shook his head. "No, you have to... I need you to be together. When this is done... when we do what we need to do, when _I_ do what I need to do, you need to stay together. You need to live as long as you can, you need to help this world." He couldn't go on without knowing, without having them promise they would stand side by side.

"You have... you have to learn to live without me."

It hurt to say, but Noctis knew it was the truth. He needed them to live, because he could not go forward without knowing they would be okay. He _needed_ them to be okay. "I'm just a man."

"Noct, you don't get it, do you? You're ours, and you always will be."

"Our Friend."

"Our King."

"Our Heart."

Noctis reached out to cup Ignis's cheek, feeling the tears slipping down from the edge of his glasses, across scarred skin. "Don't cry, Iggy. It'll be okay. You'll feel the dawn soon."

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Ignis's forehead, then leaned back in his chair, resting his head against Gladio's chest. His hand reached put to grab Prompto's and he soaked in the warmth of Ignis's head against his lap.

Their last night together on Eos.

Their tent was the same one from their camping trips back before Altissia, when they had been young and carefree. Their bodies were different, their faces changed and marred by time, but to Noctis, they were still beautiful. Their souls, wrought in pain, had never surrendered to the darkness.

When he was gone, they would only have one another, and he could not have them fall to pieces. They would be the light of the dawn, they would be the ones to open his kingdom, to rule in his stead. They would be the proof that he lived, the proof that all of this pain, this heartache, this anguish was for _something_.

Noctis let himself fall into their arms, to wrap himself in their light, to feed off of their strength as the campfire outside blazed with life and the blue runes held secret promises that were never forgotten, not by him.

He soaked in their love, and with each kiss, each touch, each brush of skin against his, he forced himself to remember. The feel of the little goatee on Prompto's chin as he rubbed his face into Noctis's shoulder blade. The thick sinew of Gladio's chest against his as they moved in rhythm. The long, thin fingers as Ignis ran the pads over his face, taking in every dimple and slope, each scar and bump.

If there was an afterlife, he hoped that he could be with his friends, with his lovers, for all eternity.

And in the darkness of their tent, the smoldering campfire burning out as the rain began, Noctis watched them.

Prompto's wide, open mouth breathing in slow, shallow breaths, his arms splayed out to the side and above his head. He had finally foregone his gloves and Noctis could see the little black barcodes against his skin, and he leaned forward to run his finger over one of them. They had gotten darker as the nights grew longer, and Prompto was embarrassed by them, even now. But in the arms of his lovers, he felt strong enough to remove the leather gloves.

Gladio was at Prompto's back, long hair obscuring his face. Noctis reached out to push the long, black hair from his face, smiling as his thumb rubbed against the scar. He remembered that scar; Gladio, rushing forward to stop a drunk guy in Insomnia. Gladio, refusing the potion. Gladio, smiling as he said it was worth it, his first real battle wound. He had protected the Prince, and a little scar was worth being proud of.

There were more now, littering his body like a picture book of the history of his lover since he disappeared. Noctis wanted to hear more, to learn of every scrape and burn and slash, each sliver of raised, puckered skin.

And Ignis.

Ignis, whose cane was long gone, whose scars inside were different than the ones outside. Those scars, wide and dark, had become part of Ignis before Noctis's sleep, and he had grown to know them. No, Ignis... he had scars hidden inside him. It was the way his hand instinctively reached out in his sleep, reaching for something he could not find.

They looked like angels. Noctis curled himself into the space between Ignis and Prompto, reaching out to grab Ignis's hand.

"I'm here, I've got you."

Ignis calmed in his sleep, the lines of worry lightening around his mouth. The scar on his bottom lip... Noctis wanted to kiss it, to make it so that any pain he had ever felt would disappear.

Prompto's arm reached out and wrapped itself around him, and Gladio made a sound, more snort than snore, as he pushed Prompto forward, closer to Noctis.

They were so close, now. Noctis could feel their feet curling with his, the warm touch of Prompto's legs, Gladio's hairy calves, Ignis's soft skin...

"I wish we could stay this way forever," Noctis whispered as he closed his eyes, feeling the warm breath on his mouth and at the back of his neck. "Please... please give me that. Please give me peace. Let me find them again."

And he drifted off into the sweet darkness, feeling more at home than he had since their nights under the stars so very long ago.

* * *

 

_Oh, who decides from where up high?  
I couldn't say I need more time_

 

* * *

A gift, for our King of Kings. Heavy has your crown and burden been. Rest easy, now.

King Noctis, may you know peace.

* * *

 

_Oh, grant that I can stay the night  
Or one more day inside this life_

 

* * *

No pain.

It was the first thing Noctis noticed. Not just the pain of his body dying, the shock of the swords long gone, ripping at his back, at his stomach. No, this was absence of the aches in his joints and his knee... And the ring.

Noctis looked down to his hand, noting that the ring was gone. Not even a trace of the band, worn into his hand through years of burning his skin.

Nothing. Unblemished hands, free of the curse of time.

Noctis reached up and touched his face, feeling the smoothness of his skin. No beard, no scars, no wrinkles.

Noctis turned to look around, his body moving so sharply that he was surprised to find himself still standing. A shimmer of blue behind him-he had warped? But how?

The sun above was so bright, the light burning at his eyes.

And he knew.

He was dead.

The shock took away his breath, but that made no sense. How was he breathing? How could he?

Noctis ran his hands through his hair, feeling his scalp and the sensations that directly contradicted his knowledge. Death was the end, it was the eternal sleep.

But here he was, standing in the Killiam Haven in Duscae, with the sun beating down on the back of his neck. The tent was set up, but there was only one chair next to the cackling fire. He could feel the warmth on his his skin, could smell something cooking over the fire.

The campsite was quiet, but he could hear the sound of wildlife growling and snarling, yet the blue wards held strong. This was not a fearsome sound, for he had grown accustomed to it in their time camping and trekking through the country of his forefathers.

It was a comforting sound, something he knew, something that reminded him of joy.

However, he was alone. This... it hurt him, and filled Noctis with a feeling between sorrow and bliss.

If he was alone, it meant that they were still _alive_.

And he could wait for them, wait for as long as he needed to.

* * *

 

_And who decides from where up high (one other year, a hundred flags flying in a field)_

 

* * *

Prompto was first. It could have been moments, or days, or years, Noctis wasn't sure. But he knew the moment Prompto arrived, like a part of his heart has been returned to his body.

"Whoa! Noctis-is it... is it you? Is it really you?"

Noctis dropped his fishing rod straight into the water, knocking over his tackle box as he jumped up, spinning around to see him- his blond hair spiked up, his cheeks dotted with a smattering of freckles Noctis had long ago memorized, yet still could find new patterns every time he looked at the other man. The casually crumpled clothes, the bandanna around his bicep.

"Prompto, oh god, Prom." Noctis ran forward and before he reached Prompto, he slowed himself down. This was his imagination playing tricks on him in the loneliness. It happened, sometimes, when he was sleeping. His dreams would seem so realistic; he must have fallen asleep on the edge of the water.

So, Noctis only hesitantly reached out with his hand to gently touch Prompto's hand.

It was solid.

"Oh, God, you're real!" Noctis threw his arms around Prompto, pulling the other man down for a kiss. It didn't matter that his foot slipped and they both tumbled into the stream, their clothes soaked and cold. It didn't matter because Prompto was here and Prompto was warm and like sunshine peeking through on a cloudy afternoon.

"Is it you, Noct? Really? Really really?" Prompto's nose and mouth were pulled back, and Noctis could see his blue eyes filling with tears. "Oh, he was right... you've been waiting, haven't you?"

But it didn't matter, because Noctis had warmth and joy, and though he wasn't complete, not yet, this was a piece of him clicking back into place.

He swooped down and kissed Prompto, feeling their tears mixing against their cheeks with the stream water. Noctis ran his hands through Prompto's hair, feeling the softness, like chocobo down, against his fingertips.

"How long?" Noctis pulled away from Prompto, adjusting himself in the water. There was a small fish that was brave enough to slap against Prompto's leg, and both of them had to laugh at the absurdity of it.

"How long? Oh..." Prompto's mouth turned down, and Noctis wished he could take back his question.

"I'm sorry, Prom. Forget it, it isn't right for me to-"

"No, Noct. It's... it's okay." Prompto shook his head and reached forward to grab Noctis's shoulders, pulling him in for a crushing hug. "Two years... It's been two years."

Too short.

"There... there was an accident. We're rebuilding Insomnia, Noct. You should see it... you should have seen it." Prompto frowned and buried his face in Noctis's shoulder, his hair tickling Noctis's cheek. "There was a daemon nest... Serpentesses... They are so rare, now... but it had to be snakes... it always had to be snakes. I got 'em, though. I did it."

Prompto shuddered, and Noctis could only run his hands against the other man's back, hugging him as hard as he could.

"Don't think about it, okay? It's over... It's done. You're here... You're here with me, now."

Noctis could feel the smile on his shoulder, and he tightened his arms around his lover.

"Yeah..."

"Gladio and Ignis...?"

"We kept our promise."

And that was enough for Noctis.

* * *

 

_I couldn't say I need more time (one day, felt it let go of me)_

 

* * *

Gladio came next.

Prompto and Noctis had realized when they woke in the morning, a normal morning like they always were, to find three chairs instead of two, with the burly man sitting back, his nose buried in one of his favorite books.

"Gladio?"

"Oh, you're up."

Noctis could see that Gladio wasn't reading the book, though. His hands were shaking and the book wasn't even turned the right way up.

"I didn't want to wake you."

"Gladio."

Noctis could see Gladio's mouth twisted down, his lips quivering as hard as his hands, his eyes misty. There was only one scar across his cheek, the one from that drunken night of brawling. Noctis had been so stupid, but Gladio...

Proud Gladio.

"Gladio..." Noctis put out his hand to Prompto, shaking his head. He knew it had been a long time since Prompto had seen Gladio, but Noctis... Noctis needed to do this. He stepped forward and opened his arms, wrapping them around Gladio's as the man shook with sobs, his book falling to the ground with a thunk. "Shhhhh. Shhhhh, Gladio. I'm here."

"Nine years... I missed you." Gladio's shoulder shook with every sob, and Noctis could feel the front of his shirt and the wetness against his stomach. He could only run his hands over the man's shoulders, drawing patterns into his skin.

"Shh, I'm here, now... We're here."

"I told him I'd be okay... just some stupid thing with the power plant. I got Iris out... Cor... I dunno, with his bum knee... but I think he's okay, too..." Gladio let out a choked gasp. "I left him alone, Noct... I'm sorry, I didn't keep my promise." His brown eyes were so pained.

"You did, you did. Don't say that, Gladio. You stayed as long as you could. Ignis will understand, please..."

During his younger years, Noctis had always worried that Gladio didn't understand his feelings, not in the same way as Noctis knew Prompto and Ignis understood. Their relationship was so much more difficult, colored by their blood and their families. Yet, during those months traveling together, finding out their quirks, truly learning to understand one another... Noctis know that Gladio _understood_ him.

Noctis felt Prompto behind him, and he nodded, giving the blond permission to come forward. Gladio needed the both of them.

"Hey, big guy..."

Gladio could only cry harder. Noctis had never seen Gladio so emotional, but he could not blame the man. This was... this was _hard_.

"Hey yourself."

Prompto stood behind the chair and leaned over, resting his arms around the both of them, letting his head rest on theirs. "We got you, okay? And we're not gunna let go."

They stood there with Gladio between them, until the other man was able to pull his face away, cheeks stained red and eyes bloodshot. Still, even then, Noctis thought he looked beautiful. He leaned forward and rested his mouth against Gladio's.

"Gladio... C'mon, stand up ya big lug." Noctis grabbed his hand and pulled him up and toward the tent.

"Oh, I see- you just want me for my body." But Gladio was laughing.

Noctis snorted and Prompto laughed behind them. "No, doofus. I just... Sit down. Okay?"

The inside of the tent was big enough to give them enough space to lay out a dozen furs across the ground, their blankets piled high on top. If they needed anything, the next morning it would be there. A toilet, a shower, like magic. The afterlife was kind to them... for the most part. There was no way to reach the mortal realm, though Noctis stopped trying only after accidentally summoning a Psychomancer. After that... he knew better.

The balance between the living and the dead, it wasn't for him to play with.

Noctis pulled out a comb from a small drawer nearby and patted the spot in front of him.

Gladio sucked in a breath between his teeth.

"You remember?"

Noctis nodded, a small smile pulling at his lips. "Like I could ever forget." Gladio's mother, when he was a boy, would comb through his hair... Noctis had never seen it, but knew it was their special thing, their private moment, their little secret.

Gladio sat and hunched down, tilting his head back for Noctis to run his fingers through his long, dark hair. Prompto sat down between Gladio's legs, resting his head against the man's chest.

"I can hear your heart..."

Noctis closed his eyes and had to let out a choppy breath as he slowly slipped the comb through Gladio's hair. Another piece of him clicked into place.

He looked up to Gladio and Prompto, then to the corner of the tent.

A lone, framed photograph...

Their smiling faces...

Only a little longer.

* * *

 

_Oh, grant that I can stay the night (one other year, a hundred flags flying in a field)_

 

* * *

It was... It was a long wait for Ignis.

The three opted against leaving the region, unsure on whether or not Ignis would be able to find them. Noctis... he didn't want to risk the chance of it.

They had trekked out a little further each day, finding that the expanse of land continued on and on. They had even found the Regalia perched up on the road, looking as sleek and beautiful as it had been when they left Insomnia.

They found out they weren't alone, then. The people on the roads, the cars, the broken down vehicles. It all felt so real, and at first it sent Noctis into a panic. It took Gladio and Prompto hours of holding him, running their hands over his face and rocking him back and forth, for Noctis to believe that they were real, that they weren't just figments of Noctis's imagination.

It seemed that the other people inside this reality weren't aware they were dead, or were never really upfront about it. They had been careful about where they went, never going close to places where they would know someone... Hammerhead. Lestallum. Insomnia. There were no road blockades barring their entry, but Noctis... He wasn't ready to return there.

Not without Ignis.

At night they would lay on the furs in Killiam Haven, soaking in the warmth of Prompto's skin, reveling in the comfort of what was home.

But still, Ignis did not come.

It didn't worry Noctis, though he had to admit that he was getting ansty. He knew that the longer he waited, the longer Ignis had the chance to live life, to leave his mark on Eos. Ignis was the one he would whisper his plans, his dreams, to in the darkness of night. His plans for the Kingdom, his dreams of being a beloved leader, someone to bring the people together into a place of happiness.

So, while it did not worry him, Noctis couldn't deny that the more days that passed without Ignis were taking their toll on his heart.

"Hey, Noct... he'll show up. Just got to give Specs a bit of time."

Gladio was right, of course, but sometimes Noctis would find himself staring into the flames at camp, into the runes that only Ignis really understood, and wished for the man.

"Yeah, Noct! He'll be here soon!"

Noctis smiled, wearily, to the two men, and passed a Cup Noodle to Gladio who accepted it with a grin. "I'm sure he'll be pissed to see what we have been eating."

"No doubt. I can already hear him nagging us."

But Noctis would have given anything to hear Ignis's mothering.

They lost count of the days, though the hole in their hearts never seemed to stop aching.

It was in the middle of the forest, doing a simple hunting job for the local proprietor of the Crow's Nest, when Noctis felt it.

He dropped his sword when that emptiness, the piece of void between his breastbone, seemed to fill with _Ignis_.

The monster in front of him fell with a dagger to the back and Noctis couldn't help but to fall to his knees as well.

"Have my back?"

He could barely whisper out the words, like a prayer, and he could not stop himself from falling against Ignis when the man stepped from behind him, pulling Noctis's head into his stomach.

Noctis looked up and stared into endless green eyes, eyes that were no longer covered with the milky film of blindness, no longer scarred and fragile. They were whole, full of life and joy. This was the Ignis he had fallen in love with when they were children. This was the Ignis he had promised the stars.

"Always."

Noctis could not stop himself from choking on his sob as he reached up to touch Ignis's hand, his soft, beautiful hands. They were long, spidery hands. Pianist hands. Noctis knew every cut, every burn, like they were his own hands... especially in this body. This was the body Noctis remembered, the one where Ignis was whole, in body and soul.

At some point Ignis lowered himself to the ground, resting their foreheads together, Noctis barely able to catch his breath.

"The Citadel... It is beautiful, Noctis. There's a garden, for Lady Lunafreya. I had them plant Sylleblossoms. Iris... today was her inauguration. The first elected president of Lucis. I told her you would be proud of her, proud of what Lucis became. That... that Gladious would be proud of her. The city... the city is whole, the people are flourishing. She will lead them well."

Noctis let his tears fall. Ignis's words, they spoke of _time_. So much time.

"Niflheim... We recovered the Magitek factories in Gralea. There were thousands upon thousands of people, preserved inside. They've been adapting well to Insomnia... all are welcome within her walls. I made sure of it."

Noctis was shaking.

"My apologies for taking so long."

"Iggy..." Noctis opened his eyes, staring into Ignis's green eyes. "I'm sorry I left you alone."

"You do not have to apologize to me, Noctis. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"You, too."

But there were things Noctis was sorry for; leaving him alone for years, so many years. How long had Ignis waited for him?

"I... Ignis, I love you."

Ignis leaned forward to kiss him, and Noctis felt his eyelids flutter closed. How many years had Ignis waited to do that?

It didn't matter. Noctis knew that it didn't matter because that last piece of his soul, the emptiness that had been open and barren since the endless night in the throne room, it was back. He could feel it inside him, like a guide.

They walked back to the camp, hand-in-hand, and he did not mind when Ignis raised his hand to his mouth and kissed it before letting go to accept the warm embrace of Gladio and Prompto.

It had been too long for them all.

Later that night, after their bodies had joined together, after they relearned one another, reliving the passion that none had ever forgotten, remembering the way their breath would catch in a kiss or moan, Noctis allowed himself to curl up between Prompto and Ignis, Gladio's arm thrown over their stomachs. He could feel Prompto's warm knee between his leg and Ignis's body spooned against his. Prompto had taken to resting his head closer to Noctis's chest, and so Noctis rested his forehead against Gladio's.

And in the darkness of the night, Noctis looked out at the picture, the four of them in front of the Regalia so long ago, and then back to the three pieces of him-the pieces of him that came back.

And with the blue light of the runes playing against their faces, Noctis slept.

In peace.

* * *

 

_Or one more day inside this life (one day, felt it let go of me)_

 

* * *

They woke in the morning to the eternal dawn.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that helped heal your hearts.
> 
> Please feel free to add me on tumblr! My name is rsasai


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